Me unmasked

Sometimes I just think I need to take a step back and just look at everything that I been through. I have people questioning my spiritual life. People worship god different. I hope and pray that god keeps people that mean a lot to me in my life. I have never been one to hold back my feelings. But, these past couple of months have been so painful and I have just been going through the motions of everything. God has blessed me with a loving heart. It has been broken. God please help me be the best version of me I can be.

Tough to understand

It has been a while since I have written anything. Right now I am feeling different emotions. The main two are hurt and confused. I was baptize last year in August. Along with the happiest of that I tried to tell myself that I was ok with the way things ended with my romantic relationship but the reality is that I wasn't. I dealt with it the best way I could and after a while I was ok. Every one in my spiritual family kept saying that I just need to be patient. Which has been a true test for me. I know for most people in my spiritual family it's not easy to understand why it seems like am putting a person before God. All I have ever done is be the caring and loving person god bless me to be. As for the romantic relationship I feel like I have to hide how I feel because no one understands. Dating is different for me cause of my disability and now my faith. I think to myself am I going to be good enough for a future husband. I do have faith in God I always have. Is it bad that I want a relationship?

my soul broken in two.

God, I come to you with my soul broken in two. I always wonder what you have planned for me?  You know why my heart aches for the lost of a romantic love that felt like you created it just for me. It has been a struggle for me to not have a heavy heart when it comes to Pedro. I beg that you help me not to feel sad.

Rough

It has been one up hill battle for me this past of couple weeks.  I have acted like I am doing ok but deep inside I am torn to a million of pieces. I often wonder where did I go wrong?  I can't change the way I feel. I am learning that everyone is selfish. Is it time for me to be that way?  I have always wonder why has God kept me on this earth if I am not helping those he has placed in my path? 

Happiness

In life there are times when you come across people that see you for who you really are. If someone comes to you and opens their heart to you allow yourself the opportunity to see what that person has to offer to you and also what you can offer to them. Never deny yourself happiness. One of my favorite saying is “some people come into your life for a short time others come into your life to stay forever.” So many people I have come into contact with have walked out of my life but, I can honestly say that those that have stayed I am grateful for them.  I am so grateful for the changes that have taken place in my life this year. I have met this amazing person that has captured my heart. I am excited to see where god leads me to next and I would like to see who will be by my side in my next chapter.