How can I emotional detach myself ?

In life  we go through hard times. One question that I ask myself is why is it so hard for people to treat me like a human? I feel like out cast with in my family. The one person that I though was my soul mate has left so broken that it kills me to know that he never really loved me. It kills me more knowing that is willing to love and see me happy but all of the pain that I have been through is keeping me from allowing someone new to love me. I guess god has a reason for allowing us to go through certain situations. I just hope that as time passes I can move pass all this emotion pain and be happy again,

Sadness

Love is a strong emotion so is sadness. When the two mix together you don't know what to do. I always wonder why the important people in my life leave. I often cry cause I don't like loosing those close to my heart. Only God knows why these people are doing this to me.
  I try my best to not let it affected me but it is hard when you feel like that person was meant to be apart of your life for ever. What do you do when someone continues to came in out of your life? I wish I had an answered but I don't.

Enough pain

When do you know when a relationship or a friendship is over??? I don't think anyone really has an answer to this question. In relationship there are a few lines that should not be crossed. Once they are crossed and damage is done it is going to take a good while for that damage to be repaired. Other time you just need to let that person  go because they might of been meant to be in your life for a short time. Never given them one  ounce of satisfaction. I just want to thank those who have stood by me through my hard times. It's time for me to move on. 

Mixed Emotion

 It is a new year I am trying my hardest to move on from all the bad things done to me which for those of you read this and are close to me know what I mean. I am truly grateful to those of  my few good friends that have stuck by my side even though some of you are miles away. I find myself having to look at some people in my life twice. There are times that I want to truly hate some people but, deep down something in me never allow my hate come out.

I am bless to have the values that have because if I didn't I would not have the will power to go on. I have thought about ending my life so many times. The emotion pain has been hard to let go. I know that those who have passed on are watching over me. I love and miss them all. All I can do now is continue to move froward and hope for the best for my family and myself.

Hard times

It has not been easy for me. I have had so many changes happen over the last few months.I have been trying my hardest to keep my feeling under control. I feel like I have lost a really good friend.I feel like he was my spiritual support. Now I have been trying to see if I can reconnect with him. I am not really having much luck with that. Losing a love one is not easy everyone knows that. I have lost my farther which was not the easy thing for me to handle. I am still struggling with til this day. I am sure that this is always going to be a hard thing for me to come to terms with. I still catch myself breakdown over it. I know most people see me as the girl who always has a smile on her face. Smiling is just my way of hiding all the pain. I am truly grateful for those who have been there for through all of this.

I have been getting out a lot more now. I have some good experience I have been apart of Ms. Wheelchair Texas. I never saw myself being a part of something like this. Over all I am glad I did it. Well I guess I am done blogging for tonight. I hope you all have a bless night.