Dating

Dating someone else who is disabled is a breath of fresh air for me. I don't have to hide my struggles with them. This new guy who is dating is amazing to start off him and I do go to church together which for me is something that I can admire because not only can I developed a physical dating relationship but we can also grow together spiritually. He most of the time keeps a smile on my face. We often get stared at just because of our physical appearance. It does drive me crazy most of the time but at the end of the day, he makes me happy. I love being around him. He is a lot more reserved then I am. I firmly believe that God brought us together for a reason. when he told me about his past I cried. Every time we are together I just want to be there for him as much as he allows me to be. I do see a future with him despite what everyone thinks.

As everyone knows dating is difficult, now trying to see for a person was a disability. I can say that one of the biggest fears of mine is someone going to want to be with me because they feel bad for me. 

Part One of my spiritual life

It is never easy to not be hurt by others actions and words.  I think that the closer someone is to you or the more you allow someone into you life the more chances they are given to hurt you.
 Depending  on lifestyle and personal beliefs that is the way you are going to view and go through hard times. I know for me  I could easily let my emotions drive my mental state. Over the last year I have been challenge spiritually.

As long as I can remember  religion was introduce to me by my grandparents on both side of my family. I found myself just going with the flow not going against anything that I was being taught in the various  "churches" that I  was being taken to because of course as a child we are taught to obey our parents or anyone who is older than us. I notice that what we were being taught in Church was not being applied in real life so I  thought that "Hey can go to church and still be the same person.

When I came into my late teenage years. I felt like something was missing  in my life so I ask my neighbor if I could go to church with her and then I became a member of the church. Month later I ask the pastor of the church If she would do me the honor of baptize me.
   
So weeks later I was baptize.

Revealing pain beginning

When you spend time alone you think of life.
I find it hard not to think of the reality of what my life is. I know it is difficult for those around me to fully understand what I try my best to explain with out making it sound like I want pity. The simple fact is that I try my best to develop friendship between myself and others I don't let people in. The reason why is because I have so many scars from everything I have been through. The few people who are close to me know all my battles.

Outcast

It it very rare when people are honest with me. I feel like am losing honest friendship. Am often told that am to emotional and am to over dramatic.

Here is a tip for everyone people with disabilities are part of society to. Don't treat us like we don't matter. If you don't know how to interact with people who have disabilities Don't be sacred to ask questions.

Evening prayer

God I know it's late but I know you always listening I first want to thank for the blessings that you given me as well as my spiritual family. I lift up all my sisters to you please help them find comfort in you and your word. Keep all my spiritual family as well as my physical family in your loving arms. I hope that my grandpa and dad are proud of the women am becoming. Continue to soften Pedro heart gentle reminder him that regardless of what anyone says or does you are the only one who has the last saying.
                                    Amen